


Twelve Years Later

by NeonDomino



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Confessing Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Set After Azkaban, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:58:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4072624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus and Sirius had always kept their feelings for each other hidden. Twelve years later, they both find themselves in Grimmauld Place, unable to keep their feelings to themselves for much longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twelve Years Later

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually the first WolfStar I ever wrote. I've just gone over it, fixing the grammar and flow.

 It had been a few months since Remus has last seen Sirius. IT had been the night of the Shrieking Shack, the same night he had almost hurt somebody.

The same night Sirius had escaped from the Dementors. Remus had left the castle without anywhere to go.

Dumbledore had insisted on paying him for the rest of the school year, pointing out it was written in his contract that even if he had to leave due to his condition being discovered, he would receive the whole pay.

Upon leaving, Remus had gone straight to the Leaky Cauldron, renting himself the cheapest room for the night. The room had barely enough space for the bed and wardrobe, but at least it was somewhere to live. He didn't like to spend money as he wasn't sure when he would get more, and resolved himself to staying for just a few nights until he found a temporary room. He could use a bit of the money he had earned to finally fix up the cottage, as it was barely standing and there were just some repairs that weren't fixable with magic.

Remus sat on the bed that could hardly be considered a single bed and sighed deeply. Needing the comfort of a friend, and needing to build bridges with Sirius after everything, he pulled out a piece of parchment and set it on his lap, using a charm to keep it hardened to write on.

 

  _Padfoot,_

  _I hope this letter finds you well. I have temporarily taken up residence in the Leaky Cauldron as I have left my post as the Defence Against The Dark Art's Professor due to the sudden widespread knowledge of my Lycanthropy._  

_It was let slip this morning, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before letters started to arrive from parents requesting my removal. I knew that soon enough the School board would get involved. I chose to leave before I was forced from the school._

 

 

_I am curious as to why you did not return to your home? I understand the memories there would be difficult to deal with, as I remember everything you went through in that place, but armed with a secret keeper, I believe you would be safest there. Harry would be safe to visit you there._

_The Ministry couldn't find you there._

_If you do decide to go down that route, I am more than willing to offer myself up as Secret Keeper._

_I hope to see you again soon._

_Moony._

 

Remus called his owl down from where he was perching on the top of the wardrobe. Remus had gone against his usual rules about spending money, and purchased the owl that morning when he had ventured into Diagon Alley.  Though he would have normally hoarded his money, he realised that buying an owl was an investment. He planned to stay in constant contact with Sirius, and the cost of sending letters at the post office would just add up. An owl of his own was cheaper in the long run.

He fed the owl some treats, and had a conversation with it - him - Archimedes he decided.

He hoped the owl understood him as he explained about Sirius, and to wait for a reply. Attaching the letter an a small package with a quill, ink, parchment, and a small amount of food, he led the owl to the window.

He watched the owl fly away.

it was very early the next morning when a tapping on the glass woke him up. As he climbed out of bed and opened the window, he wondered just how close Sirius was. The reply had been quick, as he had gone to bed when Archimedes had left.

 

_Moony,_

_Although I would hate to stay in the Black family home, I hate staying in the dark and drafty caves more. I think I will go with your idea and go back there. For sake of a comfortable bed in the very least._

_I would prefer not to have you as a Secret Keeper - I believe Dumbledore would be the best option for that._

_The reasoning behind this is I would very much like for you to come and stay at Grimmauld Place with me. I won't take 'no' for an answer on this matter. I will be returning there in a couple of days, and Dumbledore will be contacting you once he's the secret keeper to gain you access._

_Make sure you bring everything with you._

_I look forward to seeing you again, and catching up._

_Padfoot._

 

After reading the letter, Remus poured out some food for the owl, adding a treat in and making sure the owl had water. Realising he had nothing to do until he heard from Dumbledore, he climbed back into bed.

Hours later, Remus woke up, surprised at the time. He washed and dressed and headed downstairs for a late lunch. His eyes moved over the menu, looking for something that wasn't overly expensive, settling for a bowl of soup with bread. He had grown accustomed to the large meals that Hogwarts had provided, but knew he needed to learn to live on a smaller budget to make his money stretch.

Upon returning to his room, a large owl was sitting on the window-sill. Remus took the letter, surprised that Dumbledore had contacted him so quickly. He was to go to Hogwarts at the end of the week, where he would be taken to Sirius' home.

That week was the longest week of his life, which was saying something as he felt him life just seemed to drag on. But this time it slowed due to his excitement at seeing Sirius Black again. Twelve years since he had last seen the man, with the exception of wanted posters and photographs.

He hadn't been able to visit Sirius in prison. That right was reserved for the rich and the purebloods. Part of him had wanted to go there for an explaination, because the Sirius Black he knew - the Sirius Black who had become an Animagus for him and healed him so gently each full moon would never betray his friends. The Sirius Black that would do anything for the Marauders - that moved in with James and saw the other man as his brother would never give his location away.

And over time, Remus had started to doubt him. He had started to believe that the boy he had grown up with - the man that he had grown into - had hidden his true colours, and turned out to be a true Black just like the rest of his family.

He had thought that Sirius had fooled them all.

But no matter how evil he thought Sirius had become, Remus' mind still plagued him with thoughts and dreams and memories of the man he cared deeply for.

Remus thought back to the moment in the Shrieking Shack where he embraced Sirius for the first time in too many years. He thought about how right it felt having Sirius bacl in his arms - the man that meant everything to him holding him as tightly as Remus clung to him.

Even though Sirius didn't see it like that, Sirius had no knowledge of his feelings and Remus was going to keep it that way.

After all, Sirius had been a ladies man at Hogwarts. He would never feel the same for Remus as Remus did for him... but that didn't stop Remus from falling in love with him. He just knew to be careful.

All the hugs between them were kept short. He always thought before he spoke, and he gave no indication that he felt anything more than friendship, even if Lily watched him as though she knew his secret.

He was going to stick by those rules again. He wasn't going to mess up this time - Sirius had accepted his apology so easily, and Remus in turn was not upset that his friends had suspected him of being the spy. Those were dark times and everyone was suspicious of everyone so he could understand why people thought it was him.

Plus he had spent so long upset that his friends suspected him. Twelve years later, it didn't matter anymore. Not when his friends were gone. Not when he had another chance at a friendship with Sirius, one of the most loyal men he had ever met.

He would never doubt Sirius again.

 

For the next few days, Remus stayed at the Leaky Cauldron. He used his time to search for another job. Knowing that his name would be discussed at length in the Wizarding World due to his position at Hogwarts, he decided to venture into the Muggle world, finding a call-centre job in a muggle office.

He ensured that he had every full-moon and the following day off each month, and celebrated his new job by treating himself to a large slice of chocolate cake.

At the end of the week, he packed up his cases and climbed into the fireplace to floo to Hogwarts.

"Ah Remus, how have you been?" Dumbledore asked, as Remus stepped from the fireplace.

"As well as can be expected, Albus." Remus replied, taking a seat in the office.

"Well I am glad that you are staying with Sirius, after everything he has been through and you have been through, you could both do with somewhere stable to live and companionship." He handed Remus a piece of paper and told him to memorize the address.

_12 Grimmauld Place_

Remus threw the paper into the fire after a moment of looking at it and headed over to the floo. Dumbledore held out the bowl of floo powder and Remus took a pinch, thanked Dumbledore and went to Grimmauld Place.

What Remus didn't expect when he arrived was Sirius sitting in a seat facing the fireplace, a bottle of firewhisky next to him with 2 glasses. Their eyes met and suddenly Sirius was on his feet, pulling Remus into a hug. "Moony old friend its been too long!" He pulled away and helped Remus dust off, before handing him a firewhisky and pulling Remus' bags from the fireplace and letting Archimedes out of his cage.

"Let me show you around," Sirius said excitedly, grabbing the cases to bring them upstairs.

"Sirius let me take them," Remus told him and Sirius shot him a look.

"Remus I would rather you not argue with me, I'm taking the bags to your room," Sirius insisted. Remus nodded and followed Sirius up to the second floor. Sirius nodded to a door and Remus opened it and looked around. The room was massive, containing a bed, desk, bookcase, wardrobe and chest of drawers and space for a lot more furniture. It was freshly painted in cream with hints of red and gold around the room.

"If there's any other furniture you need in here just say the word," Sirius said as he put the bags down.

"Sirius... you didn't have to go through all this effort," Remus replied, looking around the massive room in shock.

"I did," Sirius replied. "I hate that you move around having to take what you are offered. Why should I not offer you the best room in the house? Well apart from my room, unless you'd like to share?" He winked and Remus chuckled nervously.

"I'll show you around the rest of the house," Sirius added, and Remus followed him from the room. Sirius started by going to the room facing, showing Remus his own bedroom and then the bathroom on the same floor.  They headed down to the first floor and Sirius showed him the living room, before pausing by a closed door, waiting for Remus to go inside.

Remus looked at him suspiciously before opening the door, his gaze moving from Sirius' face to the room. He looked around, his gaze falling on the rows of bookcases, each full with books and diaries. There were a couple of armchairs and a sofa at the end of the room in a nice sitting area of the room.

"It looks like its been done up recently," Remus commented.

Sirius shrugged "I assumed that you'd be spending a lot of time in here so made it comfortable for you."

Remus smiled, glancing through the titles of the nearest bookcase for a moment before heading towards the door and following Sirius out of the room and back downstairs.

He was quickly shown the kitchen and dining room and the stairs to the basement, which Sirius explained he had already reinforced for Remus' monthly problem, before they made their way back to the study.

"Sirius, you've done a lot of work here to help someone who's only passing through," Remus said carefully. He knew he would love to stay here - with Sirius. Hell he would love to stay anywhere with Sirius but didn't understand why Sirius went through so much trouble?

Sirius fixed him with a glare. "Moony, my friend, I don't have plans on you leaving. You said yourself that you go from one place to the next, small rooms, sofas and such. I'm giving you that room as your own."

"Sirius as much as I appreciate your offer, I can't accept it! I -" Remus started but Sirius raised his voice and interrupted him.

I know what you're going to say. I know you hate to accept anything from anyone and you're a proud man." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know you fear that you're an inconvenience by staying somewhere for too long. but it would mean a great deal to me to have company in this house. Not just any company - your company. This is a large house and I have been alone too long."

Sirius could see that Remus was now at least considering it.

"I know this is selfish of me to ask this of you Remus," Sirius continued. "But I need you. Please stay here." He spoke softly and watched Remus' resolve break.

Remus took a deep breath. "I'll stay as long as you need me, Sirius. I must admit I've been lonely and the thought of settling down in one place for more than a month is tempting and I think I need you too," he admitted, looking away to hide his blush.

"Plus this is by far the nicest room I have ever had the pleasure of being offered. I tend to never get the luxury to have such a spacious room." Remus admitted, and Sirius stared at him a long time.

"I know no-one who deserves a good life more than you Remus," he said seriously, putting his hand on Remus' arm for a moment. "This room is yours for as long as you want it. If you choose never to leave, then the room will be forever yours."

Remus was shocked. "I can't thank you enough," he said, throwing his arms around Sirius. Sirius put his arms around Remus but neither of them let go for a long time. Remus was aware he was breaking one of his own rules, but at that moment he didn't care. It was too perfect of a moment to want to let go.

Finally Remus found it in himself to pull away and he looked into Sirius' eyes. There was something he couldn't place and he suddenly felt very nervous. He was where he always wanted to be, wrapped in Sirius' arms and Sirius looked as nervous as Remus felt.

"I accept your offer Sirius, shall we have a drink to celebrate?" he asked, moving away from Sirius and missing the look of disappointment that flashed over his face. Remus shared the same look on his, but Sirius was much more observant.

The men settled into armchairs with a drink each, both with thoughts occupying their minds. Their eyes met and they struggled to look away, choosing to stare at each other. Suddenly Remus finished his drink, stating he was tired and headed off to bed, leaving Sirius sitting alone in the study with the rest of the bottle of firewhisky.

Remus started his job the next morning, and that was enough to take his mind off the evening before with Sirius. He had thought about it much of the night and put it all down to Sirius not having any contact with anyone for so long, that he's just making the most of having someone around now. Maybe Remus was reading too much into it, and Sirius was just getting used to seeing him again?

His workday came to an end and he headed back to Grimmauld Place to find that Sirius had started dinner "Sorry there's not a lot in," he said, and Remus smiled when he saw a fry-up on the table. "Its fine - great actually, I haven't had a proper meal since leaving Hogwarts," he said truthfully as he sat down to eat.

He ate quickly, and once the pair were finished, Sirius reached for the leftover plate on the side, splitting the rest of the food between them both. He poured them both a glass of champagne and lifted his. "To finding each other again," he began.

Remus lifted his own. "To renewing old friendships." Their glasses clinked together as they smiled at each other.

* * *

 

The next day Remus took some of his savings and went food shopping, stocking up the house, Sirius had been told they were having a takeaway for dinner and Remus brought back Chinese. Again they sat around the table enjoying their meals and talking.

This routine went on for a few weeks and soon Remus' pay started coming in and he could stop dipping into his savings. He offered Sirius some of it but Sirius growled at him.

"Dammit Remus, I thought we had an understanding. I am not offering you charity by asking you to stay here without paying rent. I'm helping a friend that I care deeply about. You're helping me, stopping me from going madder. I _need_ you here. If I thought you would accept it, I'd give you gold from my vault just so you wouldn't need to work, but I know you would never accept that."

"Thank you Sirius, I'm not used to kindness shown to me." Remus mumbled. "I need to go and do something." He stood up and went into the next room. Sirius followed just in time to see him disappear into the floo.

An hour later, Remus reappeared to find Sirius sitting facing the fireplace watching and waiting as he was the first time Remus had arrived, though he hadn't looked so worried or pale.

"I'm so sorry," Sirius began. "I didn't mean to upset you or drive you away -"

"No, it's all my fault," Remus interrupted. "I went out to get you something."

Sirius took a deep breath in relief "I thought you were leaving me," he whispered, and Remus put his hand on Sirius' arm.

"Padfoot. I'll never leave you again," He promised softly, and Sirius pulled him in for a hug, Just as Remus was about to let go, he realised that Sirius was shaking slightly. He tightened his grip, hoping to offer some comfort to Sirius and hoping to calm him.

Finally Sirius pulled away and Remus saw the look on his face, it was one of pure vulnerability, the kind he hadn't seen since the day Sirius had run away from home. He wasn't sure what else he could see in Sirius' eyes, but scared that he would do or say something stupid, Remus took a step back and pulled his purchases from his pockets, placing them on the table and enlarging them.

He opened it and pulled out a couple of bottles of Firewhisky. "For you old friend." He said smiling and Sirius smiled back softly.

"Well, it would be only rude to not offer you a drink wouldn't it?" Sirius said, opening the first bottle and summoning two glasses.

They sat down in front of the fire, each with a glass of firewhisky.

"I'm sorry for my reaction, Remus," Sirius said, staring towards the fire. "Just the few days with you had made so much of a difference. When I thought I was going to lose you, I felt like I was going mad. That hour felt like a lifetime. I felt like I was back in Azkaban."

"But you manage when I go to work?" Remus asked, concerned and Sirius nodded.

"That's because I know that you will come back. I don't think I could cope with losing you again."

Remus looked at Sirius. The man who had haunted his dreams since they were sixteen. The man who, for the last twelve years, he had thought evil but still couldn't let go of him. He knew that he would never leave Sirius.  No matter what happened Sirius, needed him.

Sirius' stormy grey eyes were trained on him and Remus poured them both another drink.

"It was a dark place, Remus, worse than what you hear about it. We were fed just enough to keep us alive but no more than that, we weren't even taken to wash. We lived in our own filth. The last time I showered before I escaped, must have been about two or three years." He took a gulp of his drink. "There were accidents of course, the Dementors would get over-excited and just attack prisoners without warning. I watched six people have it happen just because the Dementors got excited. There were times I wished I had died too, but like I said before, I kept going because I knew I was innocent. It stopped the madness from taking me over completely. I knew Peter was out there somewhere and promised my revenge on him, I had to live to see that through."

Remus leaned over, filling the empty glass again.

"The day I escaped was the day the newspaper was left for me - my emotions were really strong and it excited the Dementors and one couldn't resist coming into my room. That's when I turned into Padfoot and ran."

Remus was shaking, shaking at the thought that Sirius could have so easily lost his life.

"I can't even compare," he replied."I thought my life was terrible but I had freedom at least."

Sirius snorted. "You haven't Moony. You are alone. As alone as I am," he said. "You don't get to keep a job, you don't get to go and enjoy life, you just go through one day at a time trying to keep yourself going. You said yourself the other day that you hadn't had a proper meal in a while. You can't live like that any longer, Moony. You've been a prisoner almost as much as I have, you've lost everything too. You don't deserve to live such a hard life."

He had stood up and crouched in front of Remus and looked into his eyes. "You promised to me that you wouldn't leave me, I want you to know that I make the same promise to you. I will be here as long as you need me."

He reached his hand up and stroked Remus' face softly, Remus closing his eyes at the feeling, but soon Sirius moved back to his own seat.

Remus opened his eyes and looked into Sirius' again. Panic filled him and he excused himself from the room to go to bed. It was getting harder and harder for him to be around Sirius when he had all these feelings for Sirius. He didn't realise that Sirius was becoming very slightly aware of Remus' reaction to him.

The next day was a Saturday and Remus made himself scarce, spending more time in his room and the library. Dinner was a quiet affair this time, with both sneaking looks at each other.

Sirius was very aware of what Remus' looks meant.

That evening Sirius poured two glasses of firewhisky and waited. Remus turned up as was their evening ritual and silently took his glass. After half a bottle the conversation started up.

Normally they talked about the past, when they were at school or about Remus' work. They stuck to topics that seemed safe. This evening however Sirius felt it was different. He felt confident that Remus felt something for him. Well, he hoped Remus felt something.

"Moony, I have to ask - did you ever find a mate?" he asked.

"No I didn't," Remus answered. "No-one ever got close enough for me to mark them."

Sirius frowned. "Why not?"

Remus gave a hollow laugh. "Who would accept someone like me, someone who turns into a nightmare once a month? People don't trust someone like me. I'm lucky to even hold a job for long. I'm lucky I've not died of starvation or cold but people just walk past as I'm nothing!"

He took a couple of deep breaths, calming himself. "Maybe it was me too, maybe in the back of my mind I couldn't bring myself to trust anyone enough to get close to me, until recently I had lost everyone that ever mattered to me, I thought you a killer, my friend. I hated you but I hated myself for still needing you for the last twelve years and I hate myself more than ever now for not believing in you. For the last twelve years I never looked at anyone and wanted to get close to them again."

"You never wanted to settle down in all this time?" Sirius asked and Remus just shook his head.

"No relationships? But back in school the girls there - you were 'studying' with them all the time. You don't still live like that, just having the one night stands do you?" Sirius asked.

"I've never been with a girl." Remus admitted.

Sirius stared at him, causing Remus to look away from his gaze. He already had enough problems being a werewolf but this - would Sirius still want to be his friend in this situation?

"But you're not a virgin?" Sirius questioned.

"No."

Another pause, and Remus quickly excused himself from the room. He ignored Sirius calling his name. He went to his room to sleep, hoping he would wake up with a clear head and Sirius wouldn't be so shocked come morning.

* * *

 

Sirius tried to keep himself busy that day, but it was the day that Remus was supposed to arrive. Finally he gave in, settling in front of the fireplace to wait. It didn't matter that it took hours, he wanted to be right there the minute Remus stepped through.

As he saw the fireplace light up, Sirius felt complete again - more complete than he had for the last twelve years.

As time went on he noticed Remus staring at him and couldn't help staring back. He had spent a long time alone and wondered what the look on Remus' face meant. Slowly it started to come to him and one night when Remus had excused himself he had a suspicion that maybe the love he had held onto since before Azkaban wasn't as one-sided as he previously thought.

He needed to know if he had a shot to even make Remus fall in love with him. He knew he couldn't live without Remus any longer.

He thought back to Halloween twelve years ago. He had made plans for the three Marauders to go out. Peter had agreed to make plans with them and they had their costumes. He remembered being disappointed that James couldn't come but as long as he was alive that's all that mattered. Then Peter saying he couldn't come with them, he had a date. That was the point where Sirius was going to make his move on Remus.

He remembered clearly that him and Remus were drinking in the pub when Peter's girlfriend Lucy walked in and had no idea where Peter was, with no plans to see him that evening as he was supposed to be out with the boys. Sirius had gotten a really bad feeling, leaving Remus with Lucy.

That's when The Potters were betrayed.

When Remus walked away and into the fireplace Sirius felt the madness hit him, he felt the walls closing in and this was hundreds of times worse because he thought he had lost Remus again. But this time would have been his own doing. He knew if Remus returned then there would be no way that he would allow Remus to go without telling him his feelings, because he realised how easy it was to lose him.

The conversation helped a lot, telling Sirius something he had never know. That Remus was gay and Sirius was convinced more than ever that Remus felt something for him.

As he got ready for bed, it came to him. Remus had gotten so used to being passed over and rejected, to being made to feel unworthy of anything that he would never even consider making a move. It had to be Sirius. Remus would never set himself up for rejection, he was too broken already. Sirius decided that he would go to Remus' room. He would tell Remus that he liked men too and see how Remus reacted.

With that decided, he left his room.

**oOoOo**

It must have been about an hour later. Remus woke up to someone sliding in his bed next to him. A rough voice spoke. "Moony - Remus?"

Remus stayed silent.

"I know you're awake, but I'm not leaving. I have to tell you that it bothers me that you never told me that you were gay. Well, it bothered me until I realised something. I realised I couldn't be so upset at you for not telling me when I didn't tell you my secret."

Remus shifted slightly. He was curious as to what Sirius had to say.

"You know my reputation back in school with all the girls, well the truth is that it never felt right. That's why it was girl after girl - because I _knew_ something was missing. I just thought I was with the wrong girl each time and that when I found the right one, it would be perfect. It just never happened."

"Is that your secret?" Remus whispered, confused.

"No," Sirius replied. "I did come to realise what was missing and it took me until the last year of school. Something made me aware of what was wrong."

Remus rolled over so he was facing Sirius.

"I remember, you stopped with all the girls. We all thought you had gotten serious with one and wouldn't tell us." Remus answered.

"No," Sirius said "I realised that I had different tastes."

Remus' mouth went dry. "What tastes? What do you mean? What made you realise?"

"I had an incident where I walked in on someone - a friend actually - in the shower. My body reacted in a way the girls had never... it scared the crap out of me and it took a few days for me to even admit to myself that it happened. I even took a couple of girls to bed, trying to prove to myself, but I was just so disgusted with myself for using them to prove a point. I felt nothing, no enjoyment in the slightest. It took a few months to even admit that I was gay - I was brought up thinking it was wrong - but it's not wrong at all."

"Gay," Remus whispered.

"I finally admitted it when I realised that my family still had a hold over me. Another of their beliefs that I was caught up on. I knew they were wrong about purebloods being better than half-bloods or muggleborns. I knew they were wrong about Werewolves, and I realised they were wrong about their views on sexuality. I was finished trying to deny what I was. I didn't date for a long time because I wanted to accept myself and work out my own views."

 

Remus nodded.

"When did you realise Remus?"

"When I was about fifteen. Everyone was starting to show interest in girls, and for a while I thought that maybe I was just taking longer to then everyone else. By the time I turned sixteen, I had started noticing guys instead. I started falling for someone and didn't realise it at first but my feelings just grew. I accepted it was something I couldn't control when I was seventeen and had a lot of dreams about that someone."

"Then what?" Sirius asked.

"Then I lost him." Remus said, looking away.

Sirius was silent for a few moments and then Remus found a hand grasp his arm.

"Did he... did he ever return?" Sirius asked softly, desperate to know if it was him that Remus was talking about. Remus looked into his eyes and saw a hopeful look.

"Who was it you saw in the shower?"

Sirius gave a smirk. "It was in the dorm bathroom, Moony, so take a guess. There were only four of us, and it certainly wasn't Wormtail. It was quite late that evening, I had gotten back from a detention and felt horrible and was sneaking around as I thought everyone else was asleep in bed. I opened the door to find a very attractive man touching himself. Someone who looked so good I questioned everything I thought I was. He unknowingly turned my life around. I went to bed without showering and had to touch myself because I was so hard."

Sirius took a deep breath and looked into Remus' eyes, who seemed transfixed on his own.

"So tell me Remus, did he ever return?"

Remus nodded his head "I lost him for a long time but he's come back. But I'm not sure if he'll feel anything for me now."

"Any man would be out of their mind to refuse you. Maybe it's not too late."

There was a long silence between them and Sirius pushed the covers aside, ready to climb out of the bed. He didn't want to push the conversation any further in case Remus withdrew from him. "If you ever need to talk or anything day or night I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Sirius said, emphasising the last words. "I'll always be here no matter what you decide Remus, I promise you that. You're stuck with me, forever."

 

Forever sounded perfect to Remus.

"You don't have to leave," Remus said quietly, his hand resting on Sirius' arm, stopping him from climbing off the bed. "I don't want to lose you again. It's always been you, Sirius. I've lost so much but when I lost you it hurt the most. I thought I knew you better than even James. I've screwed up my life - I've had one night stands, drunken nights where I've been so ashamed of myself in the morning. I've always picked men that looked like you, because I couldn't move on. You were the only man I ever wanted. I felt like I lost everything when I lost you."

Sirius brought his legs back onto the bed, a smirk on his face. "Do you know I've dreamt of hearing you say that? Well the part about me being the only man you ever wanted, not the one night stand part."

They both smiled softly, nervously.

"When I saw you again, when I felt your arms around me I felt more complete than I had in years," Sirius whispered. "Each time I've had you in my arms I've not wanted to let you go. My arms feel so empty without you."

"Stay? Stay here with me please," Remus whispered, and Sirius pulled the covers back over himself, slowly wrapping his arms around Remus and drawing him close.

"This is what I've imagined for years" Remus muttered and then looked at him. "Hang on... you watched me masturbate in the shower?" he asked and Sirius barked in laughter.

"yes and I'd like to see you do it again."

Remus' eyes moving down to Sirius' lips. "But do you want an old werewolf, Sirius?"

"You and only you Remus, do you want an old mutt who's on the run and wanted for murder?"

"Very much," Remus smiled.

"You're scared but there is no need to be," Sirius murmured, taking in the expression on Remus' face. "We have each other now, its Sirius and Remus, the last Marauders against the world. Together."

"Together? I like that!"

"Good. I want you to be mine. For you to choose me as your mate," Sirius whispered, before closing the distance between their lips. What started as a soft slow kiss quickly deepened, Sirius' tongue dominating Remus' mouth, before moving down to Remus' neck.

"Forgive me, I have no experience with men, Moony, when I was finally ready to tell you my feelings, I was taken away. I might not be very good. The last time I had sex was at Hogwarts."

Remus gave a small nod. "I never done anything that felt too intimate with another man, only in a position where I could pretend it was you."

"Well that can change now, show me what to do, because I've wanted this for so many years."

Remus brought his lips eagerly to Sirius' again, as he pulled at the pyjamas Sirius was wearing. Removing Sirius' top, Remus slid down the bed, pulling the covers with him, his lips trailing down Sirius' body. He helped Sirius out of his trousers, and the second Sirius' length was on display, Remus was settled between Sirius' legs, his tongue eagerly caressing it.

Sirius forced his eyes to stay open. So many times in the past had he closed them, pretending it was Remus between his legs when it was one of his girlfriends. He wasn't going to miss a second of watching Remus pleasure him.

Sirius let out a groan as Remus slowly brought his lips over the tip and slid them down, taking most of Sirius' length into his mouth. Slowly he brought his mouth up and down, winding his tongue around it and feeling Sirius give a slight thrust. He moved over Sirius' cock faster, moving a hand to the rest of the shaft and pumping.

Sirius groaned loudly and Remus moved even faster. Within minutes, Sirius whispered that he was close, but Remus wasn't done. He brought his hand away from the shaft, cupped Sirius' balls and caressed them as Sirius thrust up hard, getting his release, as Remus sucked hard, eager to finally taste Sirius.

Remus finally released Sirius, looking up at the man who was laying across the bed, panting and trying to get his breath back.

"Fuck Remus, to think we could have done this years ago" he muttered, his grey eyes fixed intently on Remus. "But I think its my turn now," he followed, his gaze slowly working down Remus' body.

"Or we could have sex," Remus replied, making Sirius' gaze move quickly to his eyes.

"So which way around do we go?" Sirius said nervously and Remus chuckled. 

"I'll let you decide."

Remus could see the choice in Sirius' eyes, and laid down on the bed, spreading his legs so Sirius could settle between them.

"What should I..."

"Prepare me. Get some lube and use your fingers... or I'll use a spell," Remus said.

A quick Accio and Sirius was smearing his fingers with lube. Nervously he brought his hand underneath Remus, before gently sliding a finger inside.

He made quick work preparing Remus, watching the man below him writhe and push against his fingers, wanting more. He pulled his fingers away, making sure Remus was looking into his eyes as he climbed on him, lining himself up.

"Don't hold back Padfoot." he asked and Sirius pushed himself, filling Remus up.

He still found himself holding back, savouring the look on Remus face as he thrust. This moment was what he wanted more than anything. He felt Remus pushing to meet him thrust for thrust and heard him asking - no - begging for more.

Sirius complied, thrusting harder. listening to the beautiful sounds coming from Remus. He watched Remus stroke himself and the sight sent him over the edge. Burying his mouth in Remus' shoulder, he bit down as he came.

He pulled out, wanting to take Remus in his mouth, but before he could, Remus had flipped them over, straddling Sirius as he stroked himself. Seconds later, Sirius felt Remus finish on his chest, before leaning down and sinking his teeth into Sirius' shoulder.

Remus flopped onto the bed next to him.

"After a performance like that, there is no way I'm ever giving you up," Sirius said.

Remus chuckled "Like that was even an option. You don't mind that I marked you?"

"No I hoped that you would, I told you I want nothing more then to be your mate and that's why I bit you first." Sirius rolled closer to Remus and put his arms around him and kissed him softly "I'm yours now Moony," he said.

"I love you, Sirius Black!"

"I love you too, Remus Lupin. Now I think there's some packing to do."

"Oh and why is that?"

"Because I don't plan to spend another night away from you. So shall I move in here or do you want to move into my room?"

Remus chuckled "Lets decide that in the morning," he said, as Sirius wrapped the Werewolf in his arms again and they closed their eyes.

 


End file.
